Wreckage
by LadyExcalibur2010
Summary: Bella realizes what a wreck she's made of everything.


Title: Wreckage  
Author: LadyExcalibur  
Bella/Jake one-shot

**--------------Wreckage---------------**

Bella groaned as her head throbbed. Again. Still. What a mess she had made of things. The latest incident with the motorcycle was just one more example of the wreckage that was her life. Like everything else she touched, the bike was wrecked…and so was she.

She heard Jacob chuckle uneasily next to her and she turned to glare at him, trying to ignore the sickening thud the motion set off in her head. Her stomach lurched in sympathy. That's all she needed was to barf in front of Jake.

"It's not funny," she insisted.

His expression grew solemn. One large hand came out to brush back her hair from the gash on her head. "You're right; it's not funny at all." His voice was low and strained. "You could have been killed."

She grimaced at the look on his face. Jake was going into over-protective male mode. That could prove inconvenient the next time she wanted to ride the bike. "I'm fine," she said softly, smiling. Her efforts must have been unconvincing because Jake still looked troubled.

"But what if-"

Bella put her fingers on his lips. "Enough," she ordered. "I don't want to play the 'what if' game." Then her hand was cradling his big, warm face. The contrast between his russet cheek and her pale hand was striking, almost beautiful in a way. "You won't let anything happen to me," she whispered. And it was true; she knew that deep in her heart. Jake would never hurt her, or allow her to be hurt. Unlike –

She stopped that thought in its tracks. Enough.

Jake turned and nuzzled into her hand, and it was the most natural thing in the world to curl her fingers around the hard line of his jaw. Without thought, she was leaning in closer, inhaling his woodsy, musky scent. He smelled of the forest, of vital, living things – warm and real.

And here.

Yes, Jake was here. With her. He'd never leave her. "Bella…" Her name escaped his lips on a low, husky whisper. Then Jake was leaning toward her as well and their lips were so close that she could feel the warmth of his breath on her mouth. His eyes met hers as he moved slowly – so very slowly – toward her. He gave her time to understand his intention, time to refuse him.

She stared at him helplessly, knowing she wasn't ready for this. A strange longing rose up within her. She might never be ready for this, but what if-?

The old 'what if' game.

How it haunted her.

Before she could make a decision, Jake completed the movement and his warm, soft lips were pressed gently, chastely against hers.

Decision made.

She had expected his kiss to feel wrong, somehow. Too hot, too human. Instead, it was exquisitely right, terrifyingly perfect. Jake's tongue brushed against her lips, seeking entrance, pleading.

Without thought, her lips parted. Hot and sweet, Jake's tongue swept into her mouth and she moaned, clutching him to her. How could it feel so right? Why? Unable to help herself, Bella trembled against him. Jake groaned in response and his big hands were pulling her up against him. He was fire and life. Caution and reason were ripped to shreds and cast away.

There was only Jake's heat, the flames of his kiss, the large, hard body pressed to hers. Bella shivered again and his arms tightened. Her knees felt weak and wobbly and she might have fallen if Jake's arms hadn't been there to catch her…to hold her. Then he was lifting her and she could do nothing more than tighten her arms around his neck.

She didn't know where he was taking her. Part of her didn't care. All she knew was that the hole in her chest was growing smaller…smaller… And the cold that had lived inside of her since that horrible day was being melted away by the heat of Jacob Black.

A door opened, and closed. She was only vaguely aware of it. Then she was being lowered and a small, lumpy mattress was beneath her. Jake's bed.

Jake's _bed._

He hovered over her, uncertain and anxious. His large hands twitched as his sides. "Bella, I…" Jake swallowed hard, his eyes not quite meeting hers. "Do you want me to take you home?" he offered in a husky voice. Then his black eyes flickered up to meet hers at last. "I will."

Bella stared up at him for a long moment, coming to terms with the conflicting desires that raged within her. A part of her wanted to hold onto a lost love, to make it the center of her life and never surrender it, to wallow in the cold misery of it. Another part of her, growing in strength, wanted to reach out to Jake and hold onto HIM. He was her sun, her warmth, the only thing that had penetrated the fog of grief and loss.

What if this was all there was for her? It was enough, because it was Jake. _Her_ _Jake._ There might never be anything better than this moment; she would be a fool not to embrace it, make at least one beautiful memory to sustain her.

Bella reached up, inviting him into his bed, into her arms. Into her life. Maybe, just maybe, into her heart. One day. He would wait. She knew he would.

"Jake," she murmured. "Come here. Please?" Bella knew this would only happen if she wanted it, if she told him yes.

He trembled, his long frame shuddering and then he was kneeling on the floor beside the bed. "Bella," he whispered, his voice reverent. His awe was a healing balm for her wounded soul, her battered self-esteem. Shaking fingers trailed down her neck to the edge of her shirt. Trembling hands undid the buttons, baring her to his gaze. "You're so beautiful," he whispered.

Impatiently, she tugged at him, bringing him up on the bed, his body curling around hers. Her lips found his, her fever burning bright and hungry. The need became a sort of madness as she writhed against him, her hands pulling at his clothes.

Jake helped her, though their combined efforts were clumsy and awkward. Before too long, they sighed with satisfaction as flesh pressed against flesh. Bella was too aroused and needy to feel embarrassed at her nudity. Jake didn't seem to give it a thought other than to enjoy it. Things were so much simpler with Jake. Easy. Effortless.

A big hand pressed against the small of her back, bringing her hips off the bed and pressing them up against his. A heavy length throbbed and twitched against her belly. She finessed a hand between them and her fingers curled around his cock.

Jake shuddered and moaned, his hips thrusting instinctively into her uncertain touch. "God, yes," he moaned against her throat.

Gaining confidence from his apparent approval of her efforts, Bella moved her hand up and down the shaft. Her hips bucked against his, trapping her hand, his cock, between them.

Warm fingers found her core, sliding between slick folds and Bella jerked, startled at the intimate touch. Jake's soothing whisper was at her ear then. "Shh, baby…" His voice was trembling too. "Relax for me, sweetheart."

And she did.

He explored her body; learning what made her shiver with delight, grow wet with arousal. Her hands roamed over his body, figuring out how to touch him. They learned together. Shyness became heat, and heat became hunger.

Hunger blazed into absolute need.

Then a hard, blunt heat was pressing against her. "Are you sure?' he asked, and she knew he would stop if she told him to.

They were both too far gone for that. It was time. There was no turning back. And nothing to turn back for in any case.

Bella thrust her hips against him, pushing him into her just a bit. They both groaned at the sensation. "Yes," she said, to confirm.

He already knew. A pause. He shifted slightly.

And then the thrust.

It was pain. It was pleasure. Heat and fire. Love and something more. Something…inevitable.

Perfect.

Jake was stroking inside her now, finding a rhythm that had them both trembling, thrusting, groaning, touching, reaching. His lips and hands were everywhere, exploring her body as she explored his. Jake was heat and hardness, and she fell into making love with him without effort. It was so easy to love Jake. His heat warmed her up from the inside out, and the icy core that had ached within her slowly began to melt away.

She wrapped her legs around his waist and Jake was kissing a fiery trail up the line of her collarbone to the place where her pulse thundered and raced.

"God, Bella, I'm gonna-" His back bowed then and she felt him pulse inside of her. Just a moment later, something loosened inside of her and then bloomed in a languid heat.

They panted and kissed, their bodies still connected. Always. The bond was formed. Unbreakable. He was a part of her, no matter what the future held. Bella settled into his warm embrace, let his big arms wrap around her, keeping her safe. And happy.

He could do that for her; he could make her happy.

All she had to do was let him.

Only a single tear escaped her as she let go of what if and embraced what was. "Hold me, Jake," she whispered.

"Always," he promised.

And she believed him.


End file.
